Author Topic: Ideal flatland outfits???  (Read 8993 times)

Offline christjesus

  • Forkglider
  • ***
  • Posts: 45
Ideal flatland outfits???
« on: February 06, 2012, 10:38:37 PM »
Currently I ride wearing a very tight (very tight) sleaveless shirt...it looks painted on.  Capri stretchy pants (no underwear since the pants are that tight), ankle socks, an anklet (ankle charm bracelet), skate shoes, and one of those uber trendy cycling small brim hats.

I feel this outfit is the best for learning tricks as well as lowering my sperm count, because of the tightness in the crotch (raises crotch heat/kills unwanted baby making sperm).  It's out of the way, light, and provides the maximum range of motion for all my various whirlydo's.  The lower sperm count helps with stress because when I'm raw dogging my fixie riding hipster slut of a gf I don't have to worry about impregnating her, which if it happened would severely get in the way of riding.  In turn it would cause my 'fathering' to be very terrible. 

My question is would a gold chain (not too big, not too small ((like my penis)) help my riding style...overall style i mean.  Or maybe a kaballah red yarn necklace thing??? Your thoughts?

christjesus

Offline CrazyCajun

  • Funky Chicken
  • ****
  • Posts: 72
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2012, 11:52:56 PM »
Why so serious?

Offline rawchild

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 1021
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 02:29:26 AM »
you going commando is tmi
« Last Edit: February 07, 2012, 03:01:45 AM by rawchild »
Hey Meg...check this out.

Offline robpossible

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 1158
  • Crackpacker to kitchen table
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2012, 04:14:15 AM »
I have only hit the "notify" button... lol's now sent to my inbox
1st law of thermodynamics: Energy can not be created or destroyed, it only changes in form.

Offline SurfonFlatland

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 1281
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2012, 06:37:45 AM »
Not a very big fan of the skinny jean fashion, Christjesus?


Tell us how you really feel.
The following is the truth.  The preceeding is a lie.

Offline ASC

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 2608
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 05:39:24 AM »


My question is would a gold chain (not too big, not too small ((like my penis)) help my riding style...overall style i mean.  Or maybe a kaballah red yarn necklace thing??? Your thoughts?

christjesus


Why wear a flimsy chain when you can get a gold tooth...24 karat
RIDE......RIDE......RIDE

Offline Paulatrix

  • Cliffhanger
  • *******
  • Posts: 407
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2012, 08:21:25 AM »


My question is would a gold chain (not too big, not too small ((like my penis)) help my riding style...overall style i mean.  Or maybe a kaballah red yarn necklace thing??? Your thoughts?

christjesus


Why wear a flimsy chain when you can get a gold tooth...24 karat

You could also get a sweet diamond on that gold tooth.
Try looking through your fixie gf's apparel, you might come across something in there.

Offline Flatland-Cris

  • Cliffhanger
  • *******
  • Posts: 677
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2012, 02:54:47 PM »
Swap ur tight tshirt for a baggy one and go ride street your look will fit in perfect!
Keep it flat!

Offline christjesus

  • Forkglider
  • ***
  • Posts: 45
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #8 on: February 11, 2012, 02:20:16 AM »
Gold tooth!!! that's what i'm missing!!!! maybe now i can do a turbine megaspin...

Offline jm

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 1115
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2012, 02:31:50 AM »
yawn

 ;D

Offline JUGGARNAUT

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 6570
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2012, 05:16:19 AM »
we need more of this...remember to post to these FUN threads...please don't let this site get stale...please.


 And try Feather earings Bro..all the Rage these days ..Again..

Offline christjesus

  • Forkglider
  • ***
  • Posts: 45
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2012, 09:02:01 PM »
Now my posts are FUN!???!??!!???

Mortarman was fun...moderators felt otherwise...

Offline DiabloM3

  • Hitchhiker
  • *****
  • Posts: 148
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2012, 03:20:28 AM »
 O0  Freedom to express yourself is why it's great to be American.  ::)
Standard Rules.

Offline tod miller

  • GF Inhabitant
  • ********
  • Posts: 4252
  • ATX Crew, rollin' deep!
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2012, 04:17:07 AM »
Wear some pants your mother made for you, a collar hand me down shirt, a "cycling" cap you stole from the local bike shop, soccer shin guards and some Converse you found in the dumpster.  That way you still have street "cred", and no one will ever know about your trust fund.


"A puppet no more!"

Offline mikeyscrewdriver

  • Funky Chicken
  • ****
  • Posts: 84
Re: Ideal flatland outfits???
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2012, 05:02:16 AM »
Don't forget those jogging water bottle belts. Those are a must have for serious riders.