Hi there my name is Chris Brown and im proud to say that i am an active scatlander right at the moment.
I've been in and out of jail every since i smashed into an old biddy back when i was 13, i was just a rookie back then and this was one of my first tricks i learned. I named the trick the 'gravedigger'. Heres some info about it, it contains the same feeling as a death truck only the granny is the one who gets scared not me. You get a superior feeling of euphoria as the peg verbally and physically sends her into a feeble arm grind, it is well radical and is more fun than playing tetris. As the years went by i linked it up with other tricks like the 'spastic death grandad abuser glide' and also the 'face into windshield scuff' to 'morphine dripper' these tricks are all now public domain and all the pro's do them but everyone knows who originally did these tricks.
Before i excelled into pro rookie territory i was rocking a KHE catweasle and when i championed king of concrete group U back in the olden days of August 2001 (Exactly a month before the attrocities of that horrific september event which took an awful lot of attention off of me which was annoying) i felt a warm glow form around my forehead. The prize they gave me was a Flybikes micromachine although to be fair they sent me the street frame instead which annoyed me massively, i mean i had to travel to fucking Bognor of all places to collect the right frame which depressed me thoroughly. I did get to do a few death trucks down Carlo Griggs' vert ramp which was nice. He said he'd give me 10% discount on freecoasters and a penny for everytime they dont fookin work, i am now rich as fook and dont need no poxy sponsorship, only idiots get sponsored.
So now it is 2009 and after a lenghty period of jailtime and community service (i had to clean up dogshit for 5 months!) (doesn't matter though as i used it as ammo for little kids on scooters and smeared it on skaters ramps and grind rails) i have learned to mature and ride gracefully with respect for all around me and learned never to tell a policeman to 'watch this!' as i death trucked around with my penis out whilst erect and my arse right on my stem. I send a lot of thanks to d%n and M&£K (letters removed due to possible repurcussions on my behalf) who are hardcore megalanders who ride the west pier an awful lot, they are the reasons i can be bothered to ride again and i also say hello to N%*l and C£!@S who also ride massively. We are all so glad we have a good place to ride in Brighton by the west pier with the wind in our hair and the sea under our wheels so for that i have only one person to thank and that is of course Jesus.