take that, sinister fiend!

[thestraw]

this is way to hilarious not to share.... i was riding at my night spot, which is a covered breezeway where the L of a shopping center meets.  it's smooth cement and tonight it was raining and humid, so when that happens the cement 'sweats' out  some of the moisture that's trapped in it.  it created wet spots which were starting to get my tires wet, so i was working one link i wanted to hit before i left.  i busted my ass a couple times and i was pretty sure that some college kids from UGA that were leaving the mexican restaurant a little ways up were amused.  as i turn around for another pass this one kid is walking straight towards me w/ his hand out like he wants to shake hands, but his head is turned around as he yucks it up w/ his friends.  i pretty much decided if he's playing chicken(he's walking directly into my path) he's fixin to loose.  at about 5 feet away from me he completely slides out on one of the slick spots, bust his ass, lands completely on his side w/out catching himself And slides directly into my front wheel, to to the general amusement of me, his friends and the people standing outside the bowling alley i'm riding next to.  as he walked away i thanked him for checking that trick off my list.  anyone else got a good frontier justice flatland story?

[rideflat43]

assssssssssssss king for it!

[robpossible]

I ride a b ball court right behind my local City Hall, in a fairly large public green space/ park. Everyone knows me there and most all the kids, families, and even the cops respect my side of the court. There was a guy that showed up one day with about 10 kids and started to line them up for some drills right in the line of my link line… There was plenty of room for the both of us, he was just being a dick and not respecting me or my space, my sport, even though I was there first. I stopped, dropped my headphones out of my ears and watched him trying to organize his team for a min. I then ask, “Is there a problem?” He was a fat little guy and jumped around like he had no idea, “Oh, I don’t know, is there?” I replied, “Well, you’re lining your team up on my side and there is plenty of room for both of us here, most people around here respect each other’s spaces and sports.” He then argued back that this was a basketball court and that I should be riding a bike in a park or something. All he was doing was trying to teach some kids about basketball. I threw back that this is a public park and that most people around here are good neighbors and that sharing was a fundamental part of life that every kid should learn to do and that he had not learned yet. He gave in very easily, he had to, he was in front of a bunch of 10 or 12 year olds…
I always find it interesting how some people can easily see how flatland takes dedication, time and skill to learn and through this they respect it. Though others see it and can think the total opposite and think; show off, scum, that’s not a sport…

[thestraw]

i hate basketball players.  couldn't begin to count the number of times there are 3 empty courts and f*cks come straight to the one that i'm in and start shooting baskets like i'm not there.  when i hear the 'its a basketball court' line i respond that it's an empty court and that basketball & hopscotch are two of many options available in the free and empty space.  then i ask why they're showing me such a lack of respect since i was clearly there first and that usually ends that.  plus you can ride in basketball players way and bonk their ball around.  they don't like that too much though

[Deadwing]

One day I was doing tricks down the road and this fat lady on the walkway yells to me "Aren't you a bit  big for that bike?" and I responded "Aren't you a bit big for a sidewalk?

She started rambling on about something after that. I did not hear her, because doing flatland tricks seemed more important than listening to her.

[rideflat43]

I ride on those basketball courts i have posted..the ones with the super
white lights and have no problems at all with anyone and do not think I
will


I kick in their caps if they try anything


lol

[manniedamaniac]

One day I was doing tricks down the road and this fat lady on the walkway yells to me "Aren't you a bit  big for that bike?" and I responded "Aren't you a bit big for a sidewalk?

hahahahaha

[robpossible]

i hate basketball players.  couldn't begin to count the number of times there are 3 empty courts and f*cks come straight to the one that i'm in and start shooting baskets like i'm not there.  when i hear the 'its a basketball court' line i respond that it's an empty court and that basketball & hopscotch are two of many options available in the free and empty space.  then i ask why they're showing me such a lack of respect since i was clearly there first and that usually ends that.  plus you can ride in basketball players way and bonk their ball around.  they don't like that too much though

This happened to me the evening I posted my last post. I ended up chucking a basketball clear out of bounds, as I exited my court in pure frustration of not being able to hit a minor. Just when I thought I had them all trained...

[rideflat43]

The golfers hit fu%^ng balls on my roof and i just sit in my backyard
and throw it at them when they pull up on the 14th hole across from
my house or see them coming and throw all the balls along with their
balls,as they try to figure out why there is so many balls on the green
and start cussing and yelling,as i yell "Fore Mother fuc%$ers",really loud
and done this a few times and then yell that is what they get hitting the
fuc%ing balls on my roof...
 
sissy mother fu$%kes golfers!
 
This has nothing to do with basketball courts,but it is still how i would handle it,
hand their balls back to them in spades,if someone says something to me!!

[christjesus]

one of my favorite past times to get back at the various assholes that beeline it right at me when riding is to scare random people when i'm riding my bike down the street.  I like to make eye contact and pretend to go right, the person realizes this and thinks i'm going to go behind them...then i abruptly change directions and go right in front of them...almost touching.  They jump, I laugh, the karmic circle completes itself.

And since our bikes are pretty much silent, coming up behind people and scaring the hell out of them is always a gas.  So is using the phrase "raw dogging my fixie riding hipster slut gf"....