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English => General Flatland Forum => Topic started by: Curmudgeon on January 16, 2008, 01:01:29 AM

Title: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Curmudgeon on January 16, 2008, 01:01:29 AM
that old chestnut!

the question turns up on most bike forums at some point.

well the debate is over.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

its a bit old now, i remember reading it in the paper a while back, sorry if its been on here before, couldn't find it with a serch
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Vic on January 16, 2008, 01:18:33 AM
I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Thlayli on January 16, 2008, 01:23:07 AM
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HppS1T_96Ds
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: TOflat on January 16, 2008, 01:42:20 AM
I dont know why the guy was put on probation. Sure hes a perv, but the bike doesnt have feelings. If it was a 5 year old girls bike maybe.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: ASC on January 16, 2008, 01:53:03 AM
 ;D Hard Metal loving.

How about neither... directed question? As long as body is sound, the Bike. Once in a while throw in a person, sounds horrible, but life is time. lol. Life does not have to be conventional.
Have bikes to suit any mood of riding..lol..meaning road, off road or what ever. If riding with anyone its during group rides but with both sexes. Any "Experimental/Tech" riding, rather explore alone makes for being less competitive and the ego not getting in the way. Some do better when improving skills with others..true..doesn't work for everyone, but sure luv watching competitive spirit in others...its all freudian as this point....
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Paradoxium on January 16, 2008, 11:47:34 AM
The world is becoming weirder. I thought I'd heard it all.
Usually , I can see one side of a story or the other, or both, but this time, I see neither.
Firstly, why would you literally 'ride' a bike?
Secondly, why on earth would a man get charged for this weird act in his home.
If the Scottish police dont charge every one with a blow up doll or vibrator, they have double standards.
We live in strange times with strange ppl.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Gensanity on January 16, 2008, 05:05:03 PM
yeah this has been posted before but I don't understand why he would admit do an aggravated breach of the peace.  What peace did he aggrivate?  He was alone in his hotel room. 

2 cleaners saw him and then ran and told the manager who called the police?
I'm sorry but that just seems weird.  I mean, if I walked in on a dude having sex w/ a bike in his own room, I don't think I would go run and tell the authorities.

My wife calls my bike my mistress.  She act's like she doesn't mind my riding.  But I can tell she hates it.  Every time I tell her about any progression I have made she just looks at me like, "why are you telling me about this, I don't really care"  Find a girl you can ride with or who will support your riding or you are in for a lot of aggrivation.

Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Phatman on January 16, 2008, 07:23:38 PM
sex offenders register is a little extreme he didnt hurt anyone, & isnt exactly a danger to living things.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: SurfonFlatland on January 17, 2008, 04:43:21 AM
This is coming from a rider who has never had his dick wet, but when you are almost 18 and your testosterone levels are off the charts, masterbation just doesn't cut it anymore.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: TJ Perry on January 17, 2008, 04:44:13 AM
This is coming from a rider who has never had his dick wet, but when you are almost 18 and your testosterone levels are off the charts, masterbation just doesn't cut it anymore.

this is the holy grail of tyler quotes
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: E. Marx on January 17, 2008, 09:16:55 PM


My wife calls my bike my mistress.  She act's like she doesn't mind my riding.  But I can tell she hates it.  Every time I tell her about any progression I have made she just looks at me like, "why are you telling me about this, I don't really care"  Find a girl you can ride with or who will support your riding or you are in for a lot of aggrivation.



same thing with my girlfriend, couldnt tell her nothing related to my bike, or id get the "your an asshole" look

good thing i got rid of her :)
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: TJ Perry on January 17, 2008, 09:20:01 PM
I usually just tell new flings or love interests that my bike is something I will always hold more dear to me than some members of my own family and coming between me and what I've loved my entire life is subject to automatic "yo bitch peas out" knee jerk tendancies.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Julian Musto on January 19, 2008, 10:04:31 AM
dont do either, just hustle trees and crack
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: SurfonFlatland on January 20, 2008, 09:40:07 PM
I wonder if masters of Kama Sutra would make good riders.  Or good riders make masters of Kama Sutra.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: nobleman on January 21, 2008, 01:21:30 AM
bike in the day hoes in the night.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Robbie Belding on January 21, 2008, 01:22:24 AM
bike in the day hoes in the night.

O Ya I do the same thing! What were the odds of that! :mellow:
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Selected on January 23, 2008, 04:25:42 AM
Go out there and get laid; maybe then (after a few times) you will go back to riding your bike. If you happen to meet someone special, keep her around. I know - it can be frustrating if you feel alone because you should be in a "serious" relationship or whatever. Just do it. Be safe. Have respect. And you'll see there is no reason to quit the bike. If you don't get involved soon, by the time you're 22 you'll be into some deep resentment and loathing. Be strong. Be free. Be confident. Don't obsess.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Paulatrix on January 23, 2008, 08:44:04 AM
This is coming from a rider who has never had his dick wet, but when you are almost 18 and your testosterone levels are off the charts, masterbation just doesn't cut it anymore.

this is the holy grail of tyler quotes




fooking laugh out loud!! ;D

guys are funny. i'll never grow tired of this conversation. 
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: condemned bmx on January 23, 2008, 09:16:35 AM
hahaha classic
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: leeroy002 on January 23, 2008, 06:15:00 PM
ur best to have a wife,girlfriend and a bike, just keep it on the quiet
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: cow on January 23, 2008, 06:36:46 PM
YOU WOULD'NT BELIEVE GUYS...........BUT THERE ARE SOME WOMEN WHO ARE INTRIUGED(IF THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL IT) BY GUYS WHO DO "TRICKS"ON BIKES............


YOU JUST NEED TO MAKE SURE IF YOUR WOMAN DOES'NT LIKE YOUR RIDING,SHE MUST RESPECT IT....OR GET RID OF HER....CUS SOME OTHER WOMAN GONNA SHOW YOU THAT APPRECIATION FOR YOUR PASSION AND WAY OF LIFE(THAT'S WHAT FLATLAND/FREESTYLE IS),AND YOU GONNA GET RID OF THE PRESENT B....H ANYWAY.......

I'VE BEEN BLESSED.......MY EX USED TO GIVE ME MONEY FOR TYRES WHEN MINE WERE DONE AND I DID'NT HAVE MONEY YET TO GET ANY AND 2-3DAYS PASSED WOTHOUT ME RIDING..........AND I NEVER ASKED................


MY PRESENT GIRL......................GAVE ME MY TWO PAYMENTS TO ORDER FROM FLATLAND FUEL EVEN THOUGH I WAS GONNA GET PAID AT THE END OF THE WEEK.....AND REFUSED TO TAKE BACK THE MONEY..............


MAYBE SOME OF YOU SHOULD MIGRATE TO THE CARIBBEAN............ :wacko: :wacko: :P :beer: ;D ;D
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Luis Elías on January 23, 2008, 07:02:49 PM
I translated this from a Spanish joke:

Why bikes are better than women? – You can ride your bike at any time of the month...If you want to ride your bike, you won’t have to wait for it to get ready…Bikes don’t care about how much bikes you have had…When you ride your bike, you and your bike always come(cum) at the same time…You can have more than one bike…Your bike doesn’t get upset if you look at other bikes…You don’t need to take a shower to ride your bike…Your bike doesn’t get upset if you buy bike’s magazines…Bikes don’t get headaches…If a guy rides your bike, you don’t get jealous…Your bike will never hang out with other bikes at night…Your bike doesn’t get upset if you come home late at night…The only protection you need to ride your bike is a decent helmet…Bikes don’t insult you or humiliate you if you have ridden them in a bad way…If you insult your bike, you don’t need to apologize to ride it again…You can stop riding your bike in any moment, and it won’t get upset…You can ride your bike the first time you see it, without inviting her out before…It’s not impolite to tell your friends how good you rode your bike…
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: creature on February 03, 2008, 01:10:02 AM
thats poetry :ph34r:
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: williamflat on February 03, 2008, 01:20:55 AM

 MY GIRLFRIEND RIDES FLAT HAHAHA

 GREAT
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Curmudgeon on February 03, 2008, 01:27:32 AM
ban the tube top!
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: h_man on February 03, 2008, 02:22:12 PM
bike in the day hoes in the night.

That's a bit derogatory Dave a hoe is a slang expression for a whore which  i doubt women would appreciate.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: SurfonFlatland on February 03, 2008, 06:57:43 PM
bike in the day hoes in the night.

That's a bit derogatory Dave a hoe is a slang expression for a whore which  i doubt women would appreciate.

Global-flat.com rule whatever: no use of slang expressions, as they may not appeal to the feelings of individuals who lack a sense of humor.
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: h_man on February 03, 2008, 07:44:06 PM
bike in the day hoes in the night.

That's a bit derogatory Dave a hoe is a slang expression for a whore which  i doubt women would appreciate.

Global-flat.com rule whatever: no use of slang expressions, as they may not appeal to the feelings of individuals who lack a sense of humor.

Global flat rules please Tyler show me these rules as they have been breached if that's the case you peroxide queen ^_^ so shut it Gillard (Blondie bird)  ^_^ as i doubt that was not meant as a joke & a sense of humour i have more so than you goldie locks. ^_^ as you can see i have a very good sense of humour never take things literally bro i never do it can cause brain malfunction. :P
Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: Julian Battelli on February 03, 2008, 08:08:34 PM
Girls never interuppt me in riding...mine girl start riding she don't do it often but from time to time where is hot enought.



Title: Re: girlfriend or bike?
Post by: SNJFlat on February 05, 2008, 10:16:56 AM
wtf? thats a bit intense.

if someone walks in on me humping away at an inanimate object...their fault. not mine.
how is that a legal issue?